First Day with the New Client

6:45PM
I called Industrial Consolidation at 8:30 and I made an appointment to see Mr. Quimby from the Quality Assurance division at 10AM. I got there at 9:45 and sat in the waiting room until 11:30. I suppose Mr. Quimby is a very busy guy. Anyhow, it really was nice to be able to catch up with People Magazine from the year 2002 and see what people thought was cool then.

When Mr. Quimby came out of his office he came and shook my hand very vigorously, like he was trying to see if my bicep would snap. He invited me for lunch and I figured I would get to go with him to the executive cafeteria, but Mr. Quimby doesn't like to eat in crowds. We brought our fish sticks into the janitor's closet and ate in silence, as Mr. Quimby requested. He also doesn't like to eat with the lights on, but i managed to avoid getting cocktail sauce on my tie.

After lunch we returned to the office for the sales pitch. Mr. Quimby sat me down and started telling me the 'rules of engagement' for the discussion. He had a little purple troll doll on his desk and he picked it up and told me that he learned on his online management course that you need to have an object in hand to control the conversation. If you were holding the troll, you could speak, and if you didn't have it you had to wait for the troll-holder to relinquish it. He had the certificate and everything, so what could I do.

I listen to him drone on and on for what seemed like hours, about things I really couldn't figure out. I wanted to ask him questions, but he never gave me the troll. I would put my hand out and he would turn his head so he couldn't see it. He also used some very strange phrases, like he would say how we had to create this slick system that would really "wax the stoat". I nodded, pretending to understand. He said over and over how we had to "wax the stoat" with this project, and that failure was not an option. He told me I could come back and we could continue tomorrow at 8AM. I have to remember to grab that damn troll so I can tell him my name.

-Mitchbert

First Night in Blokeyville

5:25PM
A long day. I got to meet our new clients today, they seemed like nice enough people. There was some sort of mix-up, of course, and the people at Consolidated Industries didn't even seem to know we were coming. I can't remember any of their names - I gave them my business card, and they just handed it back to me, like I was giving them a poisonous mushroom to examine. They were nice enough to find three people who weren't too busy to meet with us and listen to our sales pitch. All three were really quiet, like their lives hinged on every word. We asked them if there was anything we could do to help them, but they just looked at each other and shook their heads. I think if we try again tomorrow we could really get through to them.

11:19PM
Mr. Thurston IM'ed me and asked me if I knew anything about the Industrial Consolidation account. It took me a few seconds before I think I figured out the misunderstanding. Who would think that two huge companies with such similar names could be in a town with only one blinking yellow light? I really started to sweat. I will call them in the morning and apologize. I will explain that since PartyPoker was down all day, that the entire Internet was probably malfunctioning.

-Mitchbert